My Life Without Cannabis - Ellen Lenox Smith
I live with two incurable conditions - Ehlers Danlos and Sarcoidosis. I spend every moment of my life making the conscious decision to try to make the best of what I have been given for this is the only life I get. I am not able to metabolize aspirin, tylenol, any of the opiates among other medications. Due to this, in 2007, it was suggested I try medical marijuana for pain since things were destined to get worse. I was scared, for I hate the feeling out of being out of control of my body. On my mind was remembering the time in college I tried it and reacted and was in bed for the day. However, I discovered that 1 tsp of indica oil at night suddenly allowed me rest and renewed ability to be able to live life with better quality and meaning. In time, both my husband and I became caregivers and grew for others, since the safe supply was limited before the opening of the compassion centers. Doing this, added more value to my life too, for helping others is the biggest gift one can give and it helps you better accept your trials in life. On top of this, I gained new energy with this rest at night that allowed me to take on other forms of volunteering. Today we are RI Ambassadors for the Arthritis Foundation, on the board and co-directors for medical marijuana advocacy for the US Pain Foundation, on the board for RIPAC, appointed by the governor as a patient for ATEL and am a staff writer for Pain News Network.
So, if this proposal goes through, due to the increased outrageous cost for tags, decrease of plants and more limitation of the number of people I could grow for, we would have to end our grow. The stress, even having to put this on paper is frightening to feel. This would be it for my life, for I would have so much pain to endure that the breathing issues would increase and my heart would give out. My nights of peaceful sleep from my one teaspoon of oil, would no longer be there to help me so I could then be productive the next day. Since there is nothing more for me to turn to, this would be my sentence of earlier death. It is that scary and real! So, if this governor does not find her heart, there will be one less person to feed in this world, one less advocate, one less mother, wife, grandmother, and friend.
We will have to shut down our grow, let go of my people I have been caregiver for and have depended on me for years, and will attempt to see if we can still just afford to grow for me or will have to turn to the compassion center. Whichever happens, it will be a hardship for us financially.
May she find and listen to her soul and do the right thing and stop hurting those of us that are the sickest and weakest. This feels like bullying and we don’t deserve it and I know that we all find it hard to find the endurance and strength to fight this proposal.
Ellen Lenox Smith
ellen lenox smith
RI Arthritis Foundation Ambassador
RI US Pain Foundation Ambassador
Co- Director for Medical Marijuana Advocacy
2010 INvisible Project subject for Ehlers Danlos; www.invisibleproject.org
Pain News Network - staff writer for medical marijuana
RI Ehlers Danlos Support Group
Public Relations Coordinator;
RIPAC Board; Director of Communications